Manual Slap and Tickle: The Unusual History of Sex and the People Who Have it

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I want to talk to the girls. Girls who love musicians.

If you're a man, especially a musician. Please go elsewhere and read about guitar effects or something. Girls, between you and I, if you need to choose one out of the band, make sure you choose the right one for you. I know we all like musicians. All of them. We like them sweaty, we like them wild.

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We are healthy girls and we like strange men. We like animals in bands. Sexual perversions with musicians is what we all agree on. Celibacy is not even contemplated here. Where should start? Well, let's just say that that a sexual relationship with a rock musician should staisfy the following: the spirit, the body, the soul and a bit of eye candy is not bad as well when you can get it. If you cannot find the 4 elements listed above all together then at least one of them in different situations can still be considered a success.

Having all four of them together, well, that is Nirvana in itself. I've always loved musicians. In both meaning of the word.

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Sexually speaking I only ever like 3 types. The good ones, the ones who are so-so and the ones who cannot play. I've done them all a few times so here's my guideline for you hoping that your week-ends would be filled with pleasure.

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You will find pleasure and rhythm with every single drummer but be careful. Every single drummer I've been with this is what happened: You are there, enjoying yourself on all fours. Your knees and elbows are still fine and then, out of the blue, like a man posessed they start slapping your bum. They can't resist it. It's in their blood. The slap becomes a triplet.

The triplet becomes a paradiddle and then you are used like the best maple 5 piece drum set on the market. Without any notice, you have become his drum kit. Slapping the time signature all over your body. Kick drum, snare drum You are now the best skin coloured Pearl drumkit. All they need now is to get their tuning key out and shove it up your bum to get the right sound.

Having said that your main worry would be safe sex. Drummers are renowned for not practicing that.

Slap and Tickle: The Unusual History of Sex and the People Who Have it - Tom Cutler - Google Книги

So if you don't want to find yourselves with TWO whinging children, put the raincoat on him or be prepared to get one that cries because he wants to be fed and the other that cries because he wants to play a gig. They are both the same.

They are shy, tender and very lovable. It was dark and he was You need to cheer them up. Remind him time and time again that you are having fun so that his ego is stroked. In poor words: stroke him well and you'll stroke his ego. As soon as you start the rhythm he'll start slapping you ike his favourite instrument.

A Little Bit of Slap & Tickle Tom Cutler Constable

Just enjoy it. You get all sorts here. Sexual experiences with guitar players are like the iPhone applications. Only when you have too many, you actually have enough to play with. With guitarists you have sex and play the instrument in the same exact way. I'll explain. You have to experiment all positions, just like their fret board positions. When you'll find a guitarist's hand all over you, you will see what I mean.

My tip is to be careful about Metal heads They go all the way up and down touching all the frets so fast that you'll know what hit you or played you. If the guitar player has a dirty tone sound coming from the amplifier then I guarantee you that he takes his filthy sounds to bed for your pleasure.

They are the primadonnas. They are the divas. I'll tell you why. They want to be adored. Share This eBook:. Add to Wishlist. Instant Download. Description eBook Details Click on the cover image above to read some pages of this book!

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